tend to focus more on the intial and interim stages of courtship, dating and/or pick-up (for lack of a better, less loaded term) because frankly most of the time it’s a case of “learn to crawl before you walk” and the better you get at the early stages, the better the odds of finding someone who’s just as interested in something more serious with as you are with them.But in fairness, sometimes it can be difficult to make the leap from casual dating to something more serious. Just because you want more doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll want the same, and you’re taking a risk by letting them know this. Could you handle rejection if they don’t want the same things? Step 2: Before you even think about letting the words out of your mouth, you need to do some internal reflection – work out what you actually want from this relationship, and why. Step 3: Avoid dragging things out and let your date know your feelings as soon as possible – it’s an uncomfortable conversation, but putting it off will only leave your feelings hanging in limbo, and they’ll probably have a sneaking suspicion that something is a little off. And, at the same time, you also need to understand that they’re entitled to disagree with your new relationship terms. Do you think this person might be you’ll be able to approach the conversation in a much more rational way.So you’ve met someone you like, and you’re pretty sure the feeling is mutual.Now comes the age-old question; what are the two of you going to do about it?In fact, if you’re more used to casual relationships (or no-strings attached sex, fuckbuddy relationships or got too deep into PUA culture), the headspace needed for making the transition can feel utterly unfamiliar, even alien.So let’s talk about what it takes to get that girlfriend you’ve been looking for.
However, unless you’re superficial or living in Lala Land, the point of dating is to build on the attraction, get to know the person, and ensure that whatever ideas and assumptions you have are grounded in reality.
I’ve been emphasising something over the past few months that I feel it’s time to revisit: Dating is a discovery phase.
Use the period from when you meet whether it starts out online or in the ‘real world’ as an opportunity for you both to discover the ‘facts’ about one another and assimilate whether you want to progress…or opt out.
Just because you entered into a casual relationship doesn’t mean that you’re not entitled to change your mind and decide you want more than just fun.
Life doesn’t always work out according to plan, and the same goes for relationships.